Resources for Therapists
Learn more about SPT and collaborating in the Triadic Model.
How are surrogate partners trained?
Training for surrogate partners has evolved over a half-century of practice. Surrogate partner training should include didactic and experiential learning and supervised practice; and should cover: fundamentals of communication and consent skills; principles of sex therapy; trauma, anxiety, and desensitization; mindfulness and relaxation; sensate focus; sexual health and pleasure; gender and sexual diversity; attachment and closure; the Triadic Model; and professional ethics, boundaries, and self-care.
I completed the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA) 100-hour intensive training in February 2020, and am working toward IPSA certification.
What’s my role as a therapist supervising SPT?
Surrogate partner therapy is designed to function as an extension of the therapy process—with the therapist supporting the client before, during, and after closure of SPT.
Before SPT:
Surrogate partner therapy is most effective when preceded by a period of talk therapy. This allows the client and therapist to establish rapport; explore the client’s history and presenting concerns; and begin to address those concerns. At some point, the therapist and client may agree that SPT is indicated and that the client is ready to begin this process.
Initiating SPT:
The Triadic Meeting: After connecting with the potential surrogate partner and obtaining a release of information, the first step in SPT is the Triadic Meeting: a three-way meeting between the therapist, client, and surrogate partner to discuss the process and parameters of SPT—including expectations for closure—and set initial goals.
Therapy and consultation during SPT:
Throughout SPT, the therapist should meet regularly with the client between the client’s sessions with the surrogate partner. In therapy, the client can process and reflect on their experiential learning with the SP. The therapist should also consult regularly with the surrogate partner between sessions, to hear the SP’s observations and discuss plans for the next session. Together the client, therapist, and surrogate partner determine the pace and course of SPT, and decide when to move towards closure.
Closure and generalizing SPT:
Leading up to and following closure of SPT, the therapist works with the client to reflect on the process, including new insights and skills the client has developed through the process, as well as the process of separation and closure as a part of adult relationships. The therapist can then support the client in generalizing new skills and insights and integrating them into their life and future relationships.
What else do I need to know about supervising SPT as a therapist?
No specific training is required for licensed talk therapists to supervise SPT in the Triadic Model. However, it is important for therapists to understand the process of SPT, its boundaries, and their role as supervising therapist. Therapists can learn more by exploring the resources below, by consulting with colleagues who have experience with SPT collaborations, and by taking continuing education class lessons on the subject.
Are there legal or ethical concerns with SPT?
Surrogate partner therapy in the Triadic Model is a legally and ethically sound practice supported by a half-century of practice, a growing body of research, intensive professional training, and strong ethical guidelines. Like most specific therapeutic modalities, there are not specific laws or regulations governing SPT.
Can the Triadic Model be applied to coaching, cuddle therapy, or other modalities?
Yes! While the Triadic Model is a requirement for SPT, it can also be used to support clients who may benefit from other modalities such as platonic cuddle therapy, intimacy coaching, somatic sex education, or a variety of other modalities.
I offer, and encourage, triadic collaborations with clients and talk therapists in my coaching and cuddling work (at no additional cost).
Where can I find more information?
I co-founded Embrace Resource Group with three other SPs to build professional community, educate therapists, and advance the field.
Embrace offers resources, referrals, in-service presentations, networking, and continuing education opportunities for collaborating therapists and therapists who want to learn more about SPT as an option for their clients.
AASECT-approved CE webinars
Surrogate Partner Collective offers courses for therapists on:
Collaborating with Surrogate Partners in the Triadic Model
How to Help Generalize SPT
